Never
by Death's Silent Approach
Summary: This is a series of one shots that tell you why the character should never have done what they did.
1. Chapter 1

It was unnaturally silent in the Great Hall of Hogwarts and everyone happened to be staring at Harry Potter. While this is a normal occurrence; the reason for the stares was not.

(Earlier that Same Day)

Professor McGonagale had approached Harry right after breakfast and informed him of the fact that the headmaster wished to see him; now Harry had already known this as the headmaster had told him when he had entered the great hall. 'Maybe she is just reminding me?' Harry thought as McGonagale walked away.

Five minutes later Harry and company left the great hall only to encounter everyone's favorite white ferret and his bodyguards. "So Potter are you going to be expelled? Is that why the head master summoned you to his office?"

"Are you asking me this so that if I leave you know that you can send me love letters without being found out? If so, do hold back on sending me more then one." Harry replied walking away. "See you two later." Harry said addressing Hermione and Ron.

"Bye Harry, see you later." Both coursed in reply.

Turning a corner Harry disappeared from the other two-thirds of the golden trio of Griffindor's sight. Ten minutes later Harri's feet brought him to a stop in front of the entrance to the Headmasters office. "Hmm. . . I don't suppose you would let me in if I asked nicely?" The gargoyle didn't move. "Alright, Blood Pops, Berty Bott's every flavor beens, Canary creams, chocolate frogs, Lemon drops?" The gargoyle jumped aside exposing the rotating staircase that led to the headmasters office.

"Ah Harry my boy, how are you this fine morning? Would you like a lemon drop?" The headmaster asked holding out a small glass bowl filled with lemon drops.

"I would like that headmaster. Naming off those sweets made me want a piece of candy." The twinkle in the headmaster's eyes intensified as Harry plucked up one of the candies in to proffered bowl.

Present Time

Lunch

There in the door way stood Harry Potter, but there was something off about him, for one Harry was dressed in Slytherin House colored robes with snakes curled around the hem and cuffs. Not only that but he had that annoying twinkle in his eyes like the headmasters.

(Snape's POV)

'OH NO! Potter ate one of the headmasters lemon drops.'

"Potter go change into your school robes." I barked (not literally) at Potter.

"Ah, but Professor Snape it is lunch time and no one has ever said that we couldn't wear what we want during meals." Potter replied in that all knowing tone that the headmaster always spoke in.

'NOOOOOOOOOOO! This is even worse then him being James Potter's son!' I couldn't help but wail mentally.

"Nor did anyone say that you could." I replied hoping that it would convince Potter to go change.

"So that means there is no rule against it right?"

"Correct Harry." Minerva replied.

"Very well then I will. . ." dramatic pause, "wear what I want during meals." Sweaping towards the Griffindor table everyone noticed that Harry's robes were billowing.

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! My billowing robes walk is copywrited!" I wailed aloud.

(Albus Dumbledore's POV)

"Yes someone has finally offed Petegrew!" Ronald Weasly crowed form Griffindor table across from Harry.

"Ah it is always so fun to bring out the hidden personality of people.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Please review with your thoughts on this. This is one of my first crack fics that I have ever written I am not used to writing humor so pleasseeeeeeeeeeeee tell me what you think?

DSA


	2. Chapter 2

Voldemort's familiar is starting to realize why her mother said what she said.

OoOoO

Never Accept A Job From A Mad Man

(A.K.A. A Mothers Advice)

Nagini slid through the passage watching all fo the different minions walk past her even as she made her way to the dark lord, her Tom.

Sliding past Wormtail (who she really wants to eat) Nagini hissed at him causing him to squeak like the rat her is. 'Tom when the man issssssss a rat again, may I eat him?'

'No Nagini, you may not. He isssss ussssssseful for a game of muggle chesssssssssssss and practicing the crucio.' The dark lord hiss back as he looked away from the porn magazine he was reading.

'But masssssssster, I thought you hated all things muggle. Not only that but the rat man screamssss ssssssssso eassssssssssily.' Tom can be so weird. What was it my mother said when I was ready to leave the nest again?

Oo Flashback oO

A large black snake lay coiled in front of a small green one, 'Now Nagini,' the small snake began, 'I have only one more piece of advice for you. Never accept a job from a mad man. It will bring you nothing but trouble.

OoOoO

And here is the second installment of my Never series.


End file.
